Life is so unpredictable. My 2nd uncle just passed away due to an accident. It came as a shocking news to everyone of us. I just saw my uncle on the first day of CNY and now he has left us. What worry me is how sad my auntie feels.

My 2nd auntie's family played an important role during my childhood days. I practically spend most of my most memorable and happy times at my auntie's place when I was young. During school holidays I would spend every single day at their place. If is a one week holiday, I will spend one week there. If it is a month's holiday, I will also spend a month there. I used to be so close to the whole family.

My uncle has always been a very good husband and father. He is one who never fail to fufil responsibilities as a husband and father. He worked hard all his years to support this family of 6. He has very strong values and he put emphasis on keeping close ties with all his relatives. We all feel sad that he cannot live to see his son getting married this May. But I'm sure, he will always live in the hearts of his dear ones. Like I always tell myself, my mum is still with me though not phyically. I'm sure uncle will be in heaven watching over his family too.

The rituals and funeral brought me a lot of memeories. I was reminded of my mum. Every single procedure seems so familar. I was reminded of how sad I feel and I can really feel for the family. It certainly doesn't feel that my mum has passed away for more than 5 years. Till now, I still do miss her every now and then. But I will tell myself that my mum is watching over me. She is protecting me and she wants me to be happy. "Mummy, girl girl is very happy now so dun worry about me. =)"

Going to my auntie's place also brought back a lot of childhood memories. Those were really one of the happiest moments in my life. Uncle, auntie, and my dearest cousins, thanks for bringing me so much joy and taking care of me especially when I was young.

We must all learn how to treasure our love ones. Do not take them for granted and spend quality time with them whenever we can. I told myself that maybe I should make it a point to call my auntie, visti her or meet up with her whenever I can.

Uncle, you will always live in our heart.

Last night, there was a sad news for dear. A friend of his passed away. Though I dunno him, still felt kinda of sad when I heard the news. Hmm..maybe more of worried how is dear dear taking it. Prior to knowing the news, I was still being "cheeky" with dear dear. Felt a little bad and worried after that. Despite dear dear being sad, he was still so sweet. I messaged him after that and told him to call me anytime if he need me. He replied that sad, yes he is and has got work to do but no matter how busy he is, he will have time to "hong" me to sleep so asked me to call him before I sleep. I was very touched and almost tear when I read the message.
Somehow I didn't really know how to comfort dear dear when I was on the phone with him at night too. I don't mind him telling me about it but I tend to keep quiet a couple of times as it somehow reminded me of mummy. I shared with him some stuff also. Guess the last thing I want, was dear dear to worry for me when he is already sad.
Hope that dear dear will get over it and be fine soon.

Last saturday night was a terrible night. I was still all right initially...Chatting with dear dear, having noodles and watching tv till the wee hours. I'm not sure why when I was sleep. My tears started flowing. I missed mummy very much. It's been a while since I last cried so hard and felt so sad. Yes, I do miss her on and off. But that night was different. Many scenes appeared as I was "raining". Really wished that she is still around, by my side...

hmmm... My friend told me that she had lost a loved one who took care of her when she was young... and she just mentioned that she found out the cause of her death and she cannot accept it....
Though I do not know the reason, I hope that she will get over it soon. What has happened has happened...Death is something which we will have to face some day....Have to learn to take it in our own stride...yes..tough it may be but we will have to pull through those hard times and tell ourselves that our loved ones who have left will want us to continue our life happily too...
I believe that the bad times we go through in life is a way to make us stronger...It is only through these experiences that we grow up and become stronger.... Some people may be fortunate that they may not have to go through a lot of "down" times....Others may not...That's just our life....No need to say it is unfair or ask why do we have to go through such times.....Instead, be brave! Face them and tell ourselves that the worst time have past, better will come. That is something which I often tell myself....
In fact, I was really amazed how strong I could be.

Human emotions is always so unpredictable. Just like the title of my blog, I tend to get sudden attacks sometimes without myself realising it. It just happen.
It has been almost 2 years since she left me. Yes, I do know that she will always be living in my heart but I still can't help missing her at times. Sometimes the feeling can be really strong. Especially when times when I am really unhappy or tired. It is a feeling that is beyond words can describe. Never have I missed someone so much before.
Times when I really feel tired or needed to talk to someone, I really wish that she is still around....to be there to listen to me, give me advice, or just being there for me physically is good enough. However, I know that this will never happen again. All I can do is only miss her and have her in my heart.
Sometimes, it makes me wonder... Will there be a day that I will no longer cry when I miss her? Maybe this day will never come.....